Trapped
by PiecesOfEight
Summary: Draco and a random character are trapped in a room to fight, purely for my amusement.  2:Hermione.  T for innuendo and language ... rated fairly lightly.  There's you're warning.  Criticism welcome.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!! First of all... This actually spawned from an MSN convo with my friend who shall be credited as KissexY. It is written in semi-script format to make it easier to edit and so actions are shown within hyphens (i.e. -smirk-) **

**Alright so... Some things you need to understand before reading this: **

**Lynn**** is a pureblood Slytherin that is in love with Draco, and WAS dating George but is NOW dating Ron. **

**Krystal is a pureblood Ravenclaw who is in an on/off relationship with Fred, whom she loves and who loves her. She and Draco have been best friends since age 9. **

**Alex Grappa and 'That girl Anna' are both made up characters, Ravenclaws. **

**This is set in a room where two people are locked to fight over something. It was enchanted by Krystal and is controlled by Krystal and Lynn.**

**

* * *

**

_The Room #1: **Get You Off**_

_Draco says:_ who's here?

_George says:_ erm... pie

_Draco says:_ weaselboy 3?

_George says:_ maybe

_Draco says:_ oi! stuck in the room with george weasley. my FAVOURITE past time

_George says:_ and I'm enjoying this thoroughly

_Draco says:_ where did she GET this room? she really is amazing

_George says:_ who, Lynn?

_Draco says:_ yeah, and I'VE still got a chance with her -smirk-

_George says:_ whatever. she didn't get this room herself you know. she stole harry's idea from his DA classes

_Draco says:_ this is the room of requirement?

_George says:_ yeah, only its been Lynnafied

_Draco says:_ but u cant lock the room of requirement

_George says:_ well she somehow can

_Draco says:_ and u cant LYNNAFIE anything

_George says:_ then you seem to know nothing about her

_Draco says:_ the magic is too advanced

_George says:_ ... well then wtf room IS this

_Draco says:_ I dont KNOW! thats why its amazing, loser. why the FUCK are we in here?

_George says:_ well who is so conceited that she likes watching people fight over her while trapped in a tiny area?

_Draco says:_ yeah... but usually only couples are in this room

_George says:_ ew. im not your couple

_Draco says:_ and im NOT getting friendly with a weasley blood traitor

_George says:_ ok enough with that bull shit

_Draco says:_ what bull shit? cant knock it if its true

_George says:_

_Draco says:_ ron admits it. BILL admits it

_George says:_ well ron's a git. hes fucking DATING her

_Draco says:_ and yes ron is a git, but then again...

HAHA your brother stole your girlfriend! your LITTLE brother

_George says:_ yeah and he's shagging the hell out of her according to him and thanks for rubbing that in my face

_Draco says:_ meh, I do what I can

_George says:_-rolls eyes- so wtf do we have to do to get out of this bloody room?

_Draco says:_ I dunno... but I like laughing at you

_George says:_ shut up

_Draco says:_ your LITTLE brother!!!!!!!!!!!!! your LITTLE brother stole your GIRLFRIEND and is FUCKING dating her!!!!!!!

_George says:_ OK I HEARD THAT THE FIRST DOZEN TIMES FROM HIM, OVER AND OVER AGAIN

_Draco says:_ he rubs it in your face too? hahahahaha

_George says:_ THOSE EXACT WORDS BUT IN FIRST PERSON

_Draco says:_ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

_George says:_ why the fuck am I telling YOU this?

_Draco says:_ cause there's nobody else around

_George says:_ how utterly pathetic

_Draco says:_ I know you are, but you really shouldn't talk to yourself. it isn't healthy, you see

_George says:_ oh im honoured, a sexgod Slytherin who gives out crap romance lessons NOTICED me TALKING TO MYSELF. Merlin forbid he should INTERACT with such lowness

_Draco says:_ I'm just glad you noticed the SEXGOD part of that

_George says:_ oh, I didn't. believe me. Lynn did, and told me all about it. isn't that nice of her?

_Draco says:_ yeah, it is

_George says:_ I should really shut up now

_Draco says:_ yeah, ur using up all the air

_George says:_ -inhales deeper- AAH STEAL THE AIR

_Draco says:_ u do that too much and ur gonna die

_Draco says:_ wait... keep doing that

_George says:_ oh I'm sure I'll die -does it again-

_Draco says:_ keep going

_George says:_ why?

_Draco says:_ cause you'll die

_George says:_ ... most definitely. -does it again anyway to piss u off-

_Draco says:_ -is not pissed off anymore- death wish much?

_George says:_ no. I'm not playing that with you. God

_Draco says:_ I wasn't suggesting it

_George says:_ well, either way, no

_Draco says:_ oh you DONT want to die? then stop breathing up all the air

_George says:_ well not on her behalf no

_Draco says:_ good to know. I'll be sure to tell her you don't want her to kill you

_George says:_ well I don't

_George says:_ besides what is with you and her?

_Draco says:_ what d'you mean?

_George says:_ this some sort of really whacked love/hate relationship or something?

_Draco says:_ yes to the love... I'm giving her SPACE. it's something people do for people they love. and she told me to WAIT for her, which means she'll come around

_George says:_ space? bloody send her to the moon then, if u wanna give her space. It'd give us all our hearing back! I cant stand her yelling anymore.

_Draco says:_ tell her that yourself

_George says:_ oh, I would and I tried... and I couldn't see through my left eye for a week

_Draco says:_ HAHAHAHA you got beaten up by a GIRL

_George says:_ yes but a pretty and strong one at that

_Draco says:_ the SAME girl that your LITTLE brother stole and is FUCKING dating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_George says:_ ... whoa that IS pathetic..

_Draco says:_ acceptance is the first step to recovery

_George says:_ but she doesn't love him. she said so herself

_Draco says:_ so? the faster she comes back to me the better. I just want that weasel to get his heart broken

_George says:_ -rolls eyes- fred was right about you Slytherins

_Draco says:_ you're realizing this NOW?

_George says:_ well yeah, now that I'm no longer with Lynn. I thought she was some sort of exception. I know now she merely emphasizes what Fred said about 'untrustworthy'.

_Draco says:_ there ARE no exceptions. not when it comes to Gryffindors anyway

_George says:_ thank you so much I feel so much better. .

_Draco says:_ glad I could help

_George says:_ speaking of help, where DID u get that sudden romantic part of u shit? it really scared me

_Draco says:_ I dunno... Lynn inspired it

_George says:_ pppft

_Draco says:_ remember, im not a weasel

_George says:_ o haha! Lynn inspired you what a joke. all she ever inspires in me is to wish I could punch her

_Draco says:_ then why did you go OUT with her?

_George says:_ well, NOW that is. before it was shag

_Draco says:_ oh. so it was PHYSICAL

_George says:_ er... yeah. she's bloody hot

_Draco says:_ THATS why you were too pathetic to say those three little words

_George says:_ -.-

_Draco says:_ they're easy enough to say if you don't MEAN them too. I guess that just makes you pathetic

_George says:_ and how do we know YOU mean them? I mean, you're a SLYTHERIN

_Draco says:_ because she's LYNN

_George says:_ so?

_Draco says:_ I cant lie to another Slytherin, it's like kicking your own family. ULTIMATE betrayal.

_George says:_ don't tell me you can actually see beyond the silhouette to want to date her personality too?

_Draco says:_ uh... yeah, I can. because I, unlike YOU, am not pathetic

_George says:_ surprising

_Draco says:_ shes only like that to GRYFFINDORS

_George says:_ why?

_Draco says:_ because we're polar opposites

_George says:_ then why date us?

_Draco says:_ I wouldn't know... never have. my guess is a physical relationship. either that or... she likes watching u squirm. GOD thats attractive

_George says:_ -raises eyebrow- let me guess. you could get off by just thinking of her hatred to us and her pleasure to watching us suffer? or her photo?

_Draco says:_ nope. takes more than that

_George says:_ im not sure I follow you

_Draco says:_ YOU could get off on that I'm sure

_George says:_ many times

_Draco says:_ but... Gryffindors are easy. Slytherins... not so much

_George says:_ well that I've noticed

_Draco says:_

then why ask? or are you trying to find out how to get me off?

_George says:_ god no. I'm just trying to figure out what she'd see in you

_Draco says:_ maybe she likes the chase

_George says:_ chase?

_Draco says:_ uh huh. maybe she doesnt like EASY boys

_George says:_ ... hm.

_Draco says:_ otherwise known as PUSSYs or GAYs. all of which describe you

_George says:_ ok thats enough, fuckhead.

_Draco says:_ no, please dont

_George says:_ you think that Lynn ever thought about the 'you don't know where that's been' expression when with you? i.e. PANSY?

_Draco says:_ oh it never was. pansy just likes to give the IMPRESSION, cause she isn't getting any

_George says:_ I wouldn't doubt that

_Draco says:_ but then... she doesn't know how easy Gryffindors are. a picture of PANSY is probably enough to get potter off. he's a pansy. but assuming on how fast Lynn gave up on you... you're probably EASIER that potter

_George says:_ I take great offense to that

_Draco says:_ a picture of pansy CLOTHED would get YOU off

_George says:_ ok no. it could make me vomit. but a picture of Lynn on the other hand... -trails off recalling 'the days'-

_Draco says:_ yes I see. but LYNN must be your ultimate. any hotter and you'd explode

_George says:_ if any hotter existed I might

_Draco says:_ you couldn't handle anything hotter. you're TOO easy

_George says:_ no I'm not

_Draco says:_ you wouldn't even make it back to your room WITH the picture

_George says:_ you know what? no. I bet you... that I could

_Draco says:_ -rolls eyes- if potter is a pansy, YOU are like... a daffodil

_George says:_ I bet you that not only could I make it back with Lynn but I can handle her better than u

_Draco says:_ oh wow. forgetting the SEXGOD thing?

_George says:_ no. I still have that in mind

_Draco says:_ ew. I don't wanna know why

_George says:_ nothing about you at all

_Draco says:_ sure -rolls eyes- because the term SEXGOD has been used about anyone else... how many times today? none

_George says:_ it'll be me next time. so is the bet on or r u too pussy?

_Draco says:_ I only make bets that are a CHALLENGE

_George says:_ it will be a challenge for you... because I'll think of something

_Draco says:_

right. like you could. what are you gonna do? invite Angelina and Alicia over for an orgy?

_George says:_ ... that would be awesome

_Draco says:_ I don't think Lynn is into girls

_George says:_ I know... I'm just saying it would be awesome

_Draco says:_ until they all found out what was going on. you can barely handle LYNNs anger, let alone THREE women looking for a shag

_George says:_ ok stop killing my fantasy... and who's to say you could handle Lynn eith- ok no not her but her anger?

_Draco says:_ I have. and either way... if I'M there its great sex

_George says:_ right

_Draco says:_ I've handled three women in a rage so well there WAS an orgy. fun fun FUN. your brain would explode

_George says:_ who? when?

_Draco says:_ cho chang, er... alex grappa, and that girl anna, last year after the yule ball

_George says:_ ... .

_Draco says:_ stole them ALL right out from under cedric and michael's noses

_George says:_ -trying his hardest to hide his jealousy- you sure they were all that willing?

_Draco says:_ not at first, but I have my ways. I... PERSUADED them

_George says:_ you raped them more like

_Draco says:_ sure... THAT'S why they had fun

_George says:_ I don't believe you

_Draco says:_ go ask them then. I tell you... Ravenclaw? EXCELLENT

_George says:_ pft.

_Draco says:_ Fred would know... not that he'd be all that willing to talk about... HER... at the moment

_George says:_ yeah whatever...then have you ever been invited to a girls' sleepover then? and NO I don't mean in the gay way. I mean in the walk-in-accidentally-and-asked-to-stay-bc-they-like-you way

_Draco says:_ actually... there was that one time...

_George says:_ yeah when? and who?

_Draco says:_ it was two summers ago. I was returning Krystal's transfiguration book and Lynn was there too

_George says:_ ... did you take pictures? -smirk-

_Draco says:_ would it be a sleepover without pictures?

_George says:_ if its the pictures I like then you bloody better show me them

_Draco says:_ well you see, the pictures are with Lynn

_George says:_ ... yeah so? even better -is totally missing the point-

_Draco says:_

LYNN I NEED THE GOD DAMN PICTURES

Lynn's Voice says: you'd better be happy that I'm enjoying this enough to give you them -they appear-

_Draco says:_ here you go. GOD Lynn was cute then

_George says:_ -nosebleed-

_Draco says:_ TOLD you I'm a sexgod

_George says:_ you have no bloddy CLUE how much I HATE you now

_Draco says:_ meh. sticks and stones. either way you swing it, you're still a weasel

_George says:_ fuck off

_Draco says:_ I'd rather not. might get YOU off

_George says:_ can I keep these?

_Draco says:_ you'd have to ask Lynn

Lynn's Voice says: no fucking way. give them back to draco. he was lucky enough to get copies.

_Draco says:_ HA

_George says:_ awww... -reluctantly hands them back and wipes his bloody nose- wish I had a photographic memory

_Draco says:_ I don't. you'd be getting off all over the place. it would mess up the carpeting

_George says:_ so? I'd at least have some fun defacing the property

_Draco says:_ not 'till you got arrested. then they'd give you some memories you'd NEVER forget

_George says:_ true. thanks for killing my fantasy again

_Draco says:_ I told you. I do what I can

_George says:_ Lynn, can I kill him?

Lynn's Voice says: yeah sure. right after you commit suicide.

_George says:_ thanks. so this is the feeling of being loved? great

_Draco says:_ well u know, even though I think you SHOULD commit suicide, it'd be far too messy. there would be blood, EVERYWHERE. that's a huge cleaning bill... I don't think your family could afford it.

_George says:_ ... for my next birthday, I'm gonna get a really great lethal weapon and kill you...then I'll blame it on Fred

_Draco says:_ assuming you could afford it

_George says:_ -is like a nano-inch away from entirely snapping and strangling Draco-

_Draco says:_ I'm sure Fred would be too busy. u know... ;')

_George says:_ oh really? -through gritted teeth-

_Draco says:_ yeah... he IS getting more than you. like they say, HATE leads to GREAT sex

_George says:_ -lunges at draco with all intentions of a violent murder-

_Draco says:_ and lots of people hate him... especially his EX... Krystal

_George says:_ -frozen in mid air-

_Draco says:_ actually... stay on THAT side of the room

Lynn's Voice says: ah, ah, ah. no fighting boys.

_Draco says:_ I'm afraid of how much you hate me. might get you off

_George says:_ -gets catapulted to the wall of the other side of the room- LYNN GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE

Lynn's Voice says: no fucking way. this is GOLDEN

_Draco says:_ I'd appreciate you NOT saying that word, George. you know, 'fuck'. you're scaring me

_George says:_ YOU'RE DISTURBING ME

_Draco says:_ I didn't know you were so easy that getting thrown against the wall would get you off... but then considering who the cause is...

_George says:_ ... and just what is THAT supossed to mean? -fuming-

_Draco says:_ well... you got thrown against the wall because you hate me so much you attacked me. ATTACKED me. -smirk-

_George says:_ oh god.

_Draco says:_ trying to get me on the ground eh? stay on your side

_George says:_ the second I get my wand, your a dead man

_Draco says:_ you mean if the sight of straight wood doesn't get you off first

_George says:_ OK ENOUGH WITH THE LAME GETTING OFF THING

_Draco says:_ you know it's true

_George says:_ god no

_Draco says:_ denial is extremely common

_George says:_ so idiocy from you...

_Draco says:_ oh no I'll admit I'm being an idiot when I am. But you have to admit everything I'm saying makes sense somewhere deep inside your mind where weasels run around free. And with every word I'm saying--

_George says:_ -turns and starts banging head asainst wall mutering how badly hes gona kill Draco and Lynn-

_Draco says:_ --something inside of you is hating me more, building up the passion that gets you off

_George says:_

LYNN I WANT TO GET OUT RIGHT BLOODY NOW

_Draco says:_ to get out you must choose between the red pill and the blue pill

_George says:_ wtf

_Draco says:_ choose correctly and you will get out of here, but choose incorrectly and you'll be stuck in here. but either way, you'll find out what it means to get off, because I'll be right with you

_George says:_ ew.

_Draco says:_ the saying is backwards. it's not 'the best FOR a malfoy'. it's 'the best IS a malfoy'. you know I'm right, but please don't attack me again. I like the top

Lynn's Voice says: my god, Draco. if I wasn't enjoying laughing at weaselboy 3, I'd let you out and shag you for those delicious words

_Draco says:_ thank you, Lynn

Lynn's Voice says: that wasn't something for me to be thanked for I swear that's something I just admitted needing this bloody moment.

_George says:_ -continues head/wall-

_Draco says:_ keep doing that. eventually your thick skull will break the walls and we will be free. but you'll never get off again, cause you'll be dead

_George says:_ -wants to kill u so badly-

_Draco says:_ see? she NEEDS me -smirk- sexgod. told you so

_George says:_ I'm gonna kill you, you bloody root of my hatred. I'm gonna Avada Kedavra you the moment a wand touched my hand

_Draco says:_ yes, but I already explained the notion of straight stiff wood. admit it. it turns you on.

_George says:_ no, you retarted son of a bitch

_Draco says:_ you know I'm right in that same little part of your brain where the weasels run free

_George says:_ ... -bursts out in manial laughter-

_Draco says:_ what the fu- I mean hell? oh wow. weasels running free gets you off

_George says:_ -pounding on floor unable to breath in the slightest-

_Draco says:_ whats so funny?

Lynn's Voice says: that so killed my fun

Krystal's Voice says: me too

Lynn's Voice says: STOP LAUGHING YOU MOTHERFUCK

_George says:_ -gasping for air-

_Draco says:_ is laughter your way of getting off? cause that's not creepy in the least. I can imagine you shagging somebody, laughing your head off. How do you snog?

_George says:_ -said between bursts of maniacal laughter- weasels... running free... that's so bloody stupid... and yet hysterically funny -laughter increaces-

Lynn's Voice says: im so not following.

_Draco says:_ me neither... apparently he WANTS to be imprisoned?

Lynn's Voice says: yeah... George you want a straight jacket? I have about 5 in my closet

_Draco says:_ does he laugh when you shag him Lynn?

Lynn's Voice says: don't remind my of my pathetic days with him. please

_Draco says:_ alright. he isn't, after all, a sexgod.

_George says:_ -laughter descends slightly- straight jacket...

Krystal's Voice says: nope, apparently his brother got it all

Lynn's Voice says: now's not the time K- wait what? omg!!

Krystal's Voice says: you know, if Fred was shagging girls as George, it'd give him a good name. George just made his name terrible

Lynn's Voice says: so true... makes me almost wish I shagged Fred instead...

_Draco says:_ see? Gryffindors are easy

_George says:_ -has stopped laughing completely now-

Krystal's Voice says: oh no. Fred isn't like all Gryffindors. Oh! And thanks for the complement, Draco!

_Draco says:_ what complement?

Krystal's Voice says: "Ravenclaw? excellent"

Lynn's Voice says: ... -is getting the wrong message from this- anyways... let the guys continue the fight. we're not supposed to interfere much

Krystal's Voice says: yeah okay. have fun being stuck in the room! and don't try Apparating. last one who did.. not pretty

_Draco says:_ so anyway

_George says:_ ...

_Draco says:_ IS laughing your way of getting off?

_George says:_ no

_Draco says:_ cause that's just pathetic

_George says:_ it would be

_Draco says:_ -is ignoring him- oh THATS why you pull pranks! it makes you LAUGH! i get it now

_George says:_ oh my lord

_Draco says:_ you know what makes ME laugh?

_George says:_ -goes back to wall only to find its make out of thorns- stupid Lynn...

_Draco says:_ your LITTLE brother stole your GIRLFRIEND and is FUCKING dating her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dont think I forgot

_George says:_ great thank you

_Draco says:_ yep. bet that gets you off. your brother shagging your ex-girlfriend. your INCREDIBLY HOT ex-girlfriend.

_George says:_ no...

_Draco says:_ and she chose HIM over YOU

_George says:_ by Merlin, your actually right... what the fuck did I bloody DO?! argh.. -wants Lynn back-

_Draco says:_ I told you I'm right... and u still haven't chosen. Blue or Red? either way, you're not getting out of here and the passion that gets you off will build in your hate for me

_George says:_ what's with the blue or red shit are you on drugs?

_Draco says:_ no... it's just all they gave us

_George says:_ yeah. you are

_Draco says:_ check your pocket

_George says:_ -checks- wtf?...

_Draco says:_ told u so

_George says:_ what the bloody fuck's this for?

_Draco says:_ I TOLD you! either way you're not getting out of here, and the passion that gets you off will build in your hate for me

_George says:_ how do YOU seem to know that we're getting out?

_Draco says:_ there's a note in my pocket

_George says:_ that says?

_Draco says:_

YOU CAN CHOOSE BLUE OR RED

ONE WILL GET YOU OUT

THE OTHER WON'T

BUT EITHER WAY

YOU'RE NOT GETTING OUT

AND THE PASSION THAT GETS YOU OFF WILL BUILD IN YOUR HATE FOR DRACO

AND YOU'LL BE TOGETHER

CAUSE WHEREVER YOU GO

HE'S GOING WITH YOU

_George says:_ ... I bet Krystal wrote that.

_Draco says:_

ALL MY HATE

LYNN AND KRYSTAL

_George says:_ ok so they both did. so which whore thought of the idea? I'll kill her.

Lynn's Voice says: NOTTAWHORE

Krystal's Voice says: IM NOT A WHORE

_George says:_ forget I ever said that

-thorn walls grow closer to George-

_Draco says:_ -laughing maniacally- whoever DID think of it, thanks for continuing to notice that I'm a sexgod

-balloon filled with flour, water and eggs hits draco's face and explodes-

_Draco says:_ what was THAT for?

Lynn's Voice says: for fun.

_Draco says:_ oh. fair enough. so do we HAVE to take the pills?

Krystal's Voice says: YES FUCKWIT

_Draco says:_ oh

_George says:_ and if we don't?

_Draco says:_ is that how we get out?

Lynn's Voice says: have fun

Krystal's Voice says: YES THATS HOW YOU GET 'OUT' FUCKWIT

Lynn's Voice says: -sniggers at private joke-

_Draco says:_ oh joy

_George says:_ ... ok this isn't fair...

_Draco says:_ I think we have to take the same one. which one, red or blue? cause either way were not getting out of here

_George says:_ but I don't like the sound of what they might do

_Draco says:_ meh. whatever

_George says:_ so which one.. hmmm

_Draco says:_ let's pick blue... just for giggles

_George says:_ uh... fine but if something fucked up happens I'm gonna kill you AND Krystal AND Lynn. simultaneously

_Draco says:_ why me? it's not MY fault

_George says:_ you chose the colour

_Draco says:_ fine then we can go with red. either way, we're not getting out of here. so it's all for giggles

Lynn's Voice says: -distant but hysterical laughter-

_George says:_ fine... -does eeny meeny miny mo- ...it's blue

Krystal's Voice says: -hushed- YES!

Lynn's Voice says: shh!

Krystal's Voice says: -maniacal laughter-

Lynn's Voice says: shut up you'll give it away!

_George says:_ ...

Krystal's Voice says: -distant- yeah but red is worse. they're just both hilarious

Lynn's Voice says: SHHH!!

_Draco says:_ u heard her... red is worse

_George says:_ I'm soooo doomed. on the count of three then, I reckon

_Draco says:_ ok

Together: one... two... three... -pops pill-

_George says:_ ...

_Draco says:_ what the fuck was that supposed to do?

_George says:_ -eyes snap open wider- hehehe. -terribly nasty dirty smirk appears-

_Draco says:_ ermmm... Krystal? Lynn??

Lynn's Voice says: as I said, HAVE FUN

_Draco says:_ STAY ON YOUR SIDE

_George says:_ heh...- maniacal glint in eye as he approaches Draco-

_Draco says:_ what d'you think you're playing at???

_George says:_ -keeps coming towards and walls box them in closer-

_Draco says:_ er... -trips and falls backwards-

_George says:_ -manages to get on top of Draco-

_Draco says:_ what are you--- oof

_George says:_ -pins his arms down-

_Draco says:_ Lynn! Krystal!

_George says:_ -bends his head down to kiss him-

_Draco says:_ -turns head away-

Krystal's Voice says: -barely audible- er... george?

_Draco says:_ -struggling-

_George says:_ -grasps Draco's mouth in his and forcefully attacks him with tongue-

_Draco says:_ -squirm-

Krystal's Voice says: -slightly more audible- george?

_George says:_ -tears off Draco's shirt-

_Draco says:_ help!!!!!!!

_George says:_ -still attacking him-

_Draco says:_ -struggling to release arms

Krystal's Voice says: -almost audible- GEORGE

_George says:_ -unzips zipper-

Lynn's Voice says: -howling with laughter-

Krystal's Voice says: -clearly and sharply- GEORGE STOP!

_George says:_ -pauses- what?!

Krystal's Voice says: you idiot! what are you DOING? THOSE WERE SUGAR PILLS! it's just CANDY!

Lynn's Voice says: dude wtf you killed it! IT WAS GETTING GOOD

Krystal's Voice says: yeah but... it was candy. CANDY made him attempt to rape draco

_George says:_ -colour drains from face- didn't feel like candy...

_Draco says:_ HAHAHA TOLD you I could get you off!


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay so here's the second one! Just in advance: Sorry about the 'good bits' I didn't feel like adding the detail. Too tired. You want the detail … message me.**

**So onwards!**

_Draco says:_ ... where am I? Oh, god. Not the fucking room again?

_Hermione says: _what fucking room?

_Draco says: _who am I with THIS time? Another weasel?

_Hermione says: _ oh my god no... DRACO MALFOY?! This has got to be a nightmare.

_Draco says: _Crap. It's the mudpie. I'm overjoyed,

_Hermione says: _-searches for wand- why you filthy little-- hey where's...?

_Draco says: _you idiot they TAKE our wands. I thought you were supposed to be SMART

_Hermione says:_ ... well this is rather a first time. And who's they? And why are we here? I want to get out.

_Draco says: _there's a first time for everything. Lynn and Krystal. I have no fucking idea. And that's too bad 'cause you won't get out 'til they say we get out. Unless you want to try something … fun.

_Hermione says:_ sonofa… -throws shoe at him and hits him squarely in the face- What are you TALKING about Malfoy?

_Draco says: _oh nothing. Just figured since you're not getting any... FUN … I'd offer. Being a god, it's the nice thing to do.

_Hermione says: _why you insufferable pig. -huffs- I have enough dignity to... -remembers she has no wand so she shrugs and hits him with the other shoe only harder this time-

_Draco says: _ouch. Y'know… I like 'em feisty, Granger

_Hermione says:_ oh lord...

_Draco says: _ but I'd suggest watching that temper. We'll be in here a while. I don't want you breathing up all the air getting huffy

_Hermione says: _-rolls eyes- I thought you were already dating someone. Besides, I thought you liked them with a temper? Not that I'm implying anything …

_Draco says:_ I said FEISTY. Not angry. Angry sex is just painful to both parties

_Hermione says: _-makes face and dearly wishes to puke all over-

_Draco says: _but then again… I doubt you'd be enough to get me of anyways. So that would just be pointless

_Hermione says: _-grits teeth- right, so in what galaxy does the so called 'romantic' part of Draco Malfoy appear?

_Draco says: _not the one with the huffy mudpie, that's for sure. Maybe if you were to calm down a little…

_Hermione says: _-raises eyebrow-

_Draco says: _but you're still a mudpie. No fixing that.

_Hermione says: _-breathing deeply and greatly pissed off- right. So how do I get out?

_Draco says: er … _check your pocket for those bloody pills

_Hermione says: _what th- -stares at them- What in the HELL is this shit?

_Draco says: _choose wisely. Red or blue. One gets us out, the other doesn't. But either way, you're not getting out of here. And the passion that gets you of will build in hate for me. And no matter what you do, I'm your only emotional outlet. Because I'll be beside you, wherever those pills take you.

_Hermione says: _-facial expression says it all: WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK- is this SUPPOSED to make sense? -snorts- I'm not taking any of this.

_Draco says: _I dunno. Last time was weird though … -shudder- -looks at confused expression on her face- Oh yeah, I've done this before

_Hermione says: _there was a 'last time'?

_Draco says: _yeah there was

_Hermione says: _with?

_Draco says: _Weaselboy3

_Hermione says: _George?

_Draco says: _BARRELS of fun

_Hermione says: _what happened?

_Draco says: _er… nothing. Much. Anyways, it doesn't matter. Because you know you hate me. And hate always leads to GREAT sex. And the longer we stay in here, the more you'll hate me.

_Hermione says: _Oh, HELL no

_Draco says:_ and you know I'm right in that part of your brain where the book worm is so fat from eating up all that knowledge that it can't support its weight so a troupe of groundhogs have to pull it everywhere.

_Hermione says:_ er… no. Never. Now… -shouts- Whoever the hell is in charge of this … LET ME OUT

_Krystal's Voice says: _Not yet.

_Lynn's Voice says: _are you fucking stupid Granger? Not 'til you take the pills!

_Hermione says: _Great…

_Krystal's Voice says: _you know what to do, Draco

_Draco says: there's something ELSE?_

_Krystal's Voice says: _of course. It wouldn't be EXACTLY the same. Now check your other pocket

_Lynn's Voice says: ­_-sniggers-

_Hermione says: _-looks too-

_Draco says: _-quietly- oh, fuck. –normally- yeah so … red or blue? Or just have… fun?

_Hermione says: _no. Not EITHER.

_Draco says:_ what do you WANT to do?

_Hermione says: _get out of here.

_Draco says: _I was afraid of that. Follow the Yellow Brick Road. It leads to all the answers where the white rabbit awaits with the silk top hat that is the door

_Hermione says: _… are you high?

_Draco says:_ the real question is … are you LOW?

_Hermione says: _okay what the fuck is your PROBLEM?

_Draco says: _ how's the boy who's too stupid to die? Getting off on his pet weasel?

_Hermione says: _that's wrong. That's just WRONG

_Draco says: _you're such a killjoy, Granger.

_Hermione says: _and I'll become a killer if you don't shut up and find a way out of here

_Draco says: _but how? When all the answers are right here in my pocket?

_Hermione says: _whatever then. Now what are these answers?

_Draco says: _number one: Red or Blue?

_Hermione says: _how about orange?

_Draco says: _well yes, orange IS a delectable colour. But as it is we only get red or blue.

_Hermione says: _orange.

_Draco says: _wonderful so we'll be choosing blue?

_Hermione says: _-rolls eyes- what are you smoking?

_Draco says: _THAT was sarcasm

_Hermione says: _and THIS is a slap –advances to slap him but gets flung on top of him by 'air'-

_Draco says: _Get OFF! I know you want me but… please, Granger

_Hermione says: _-scurries backwards- what the hell IS this room?

_Draco says: _I TOLD you. It's this FUCKING ROOM

_Hermione says: _well I'm not fucking anyone. Especially not you

_Draco says: _After your little episode the feelings mutual. But… I never said that. Warming up to me already?

_Hermione says: _-blushing thoroughly- no I'm not. Sod off

_Draco says: _I would … but you're not enough

_Hermione says: _whatever. I WANT OUT

_Lynn's Voice says: _le GASPETH she finally said it, K

_Hermione says: _whaaadt??

_Krystal's Voice says: _I know

_Lynn's Voice says: _about bloody time

_Krystal's Voice says: _although I wonder what she meant by 'out'?

_Draco says: _oh, not this again

_Hermione says: _why do I get the feeling I just said something regrettable?

_Draco says: _because you DID mudpie

_Hermione says: _great. Okay, you know what? Whatever. I don't care. What do I have to do to get out of this room?

_Krystal's Voice says: _that's for US to know

_Draco says: _what the hell is the Yellow Brick Road, then?

_Lynn's Voice says: _think. –laughter-

_Krystal's Voice says: _you'll get 'out' soon enough. –barely audible- of those clothes

_Lynn's Voice says: _ -slams face into pillow to muffle laughter-

_Hermione says: _what?

_Draco says: _… er, I think she said something about goats

_Hermione says: _I heard boats

_Draco says: _whatever. That's not the point. The point is… sharp. No.

_Hermione says: _what?

_Draco says: _there's a reason we're in this room. And I think it's because you can't get enough.

_Hermione says: _excuse me?

_Draco says: _-slowly- You. Can't. Get. Enough.

_Hermione says: _no, I heard you the first time. Asshole.

_Draco says: _then why'd I have to repeat myself? You're not making any sense at all

_Lynn's Voice says: _-burst of laughter- she wants it in her ass!!!

_Hermione says: _WHAT THE HELL?

_Draco says: _you did SAY asshole, you know.

_Hermione says: _I didn't bloody mean THAT

_Draco says: _what, were you trying to DECIDE, or something?

_Hermione says: _god no

_Draco says: _god no? So you're addressing me by title now

_Hermione says: _-bangs head against the wall-

_Draco says: _don't go killing yourself. I don't want your filthy blood on the carpet

_Hermione says: _-glares (gazes) at him with burning hatred (desire) in her eyes-

_Draco says: _I SAID you would hate me more. And that same hatred gets you off! Just say it! 'Draco!'

_Hermione says: _I doubt THAT will happen. Ever.

_Krystal's Voice says: _you will… soon enough

_Lynn's Voice says: _fuck yeah

_Draco says: _we still need to take the damned pills

_Hermione says: _I hate you all. You first, Malfoy

_Draco says: _ooh scary pills. Fine. I'll take them both –pops the pills-

_Hermione says: _fine. … Well?

_Draco says: _ah. Delicious. Quite tasty I feel so full

_Hermione says: _right.

_Draco says: _so? Your turn

_Hermione says: _-eats them- … they taste normal enough …

_Draco says: _told you so

_Hermione says: _-starts to feel hot and sweaty but can't find a fan so she removes her sweater-

_Draco says: _you're stripping? -raises eyebrows- I didn't think you had the guts

_Hermione says: _-scoffs- no. It's just really hot, can't you tell?

_Draco says: _ … not really. But okay, if we must … -follows suit and takes off shirt

_Lynn's Voice says: _Current Temperature: 25 Degrees Celcius

_Draco says: _ sure it isn't just a hot flash, Granger?

_Hermione says: _shut it, Malfoy. –casually removes another layer so she's left in skirt and blouse- -turns to face corner away from draco-

_Draco says_: -watches her and then figures he'd better not seem too weird so he takes off his pants-

_Hermione says: _-forces her attention to wall-

_Draco says: _I know you like what you're seeing. It's all right, you can look. Not like it matters anyway…

_Hermione says: _that's good then, 'cause I don't

_Draco says: _right -rolls eyes-

_Hermione says: _-hopes he looks away, sneaks a peek, and turns back quickly-

_Draco says: _you know, you're gonna have to turn around eventually

_Hermione says: _not gonna happen. –glad her hair is long while she takes off her blouse-

_Draco says: _well there IS the Yellow Brick Road, or whatever

_Hermione says: _god, I thought you were just high

_Draco says: _and I thought you were just flat

_Hermione says: _-scoffs-

_Draco says: _well, I mean, you hide it. But they're a nice pair, Granger

_Hermione says _-feels like she;s melting and blushing like mad while she takes off her skirt and huddles in corner facing away from him-

_Krystal's Voice says: _stay all huddled like that and it'll only get warmer

_Hermione says: _shut up

_Lynn's Voice says: _Current Temperature: 25 Degrees Celcius

_Draco says: _come ON! It's not even getting any hotter! Not even WITH Mudpie Mary over here stripping

_Hermione says: _can I PLEASE get out of this room now?!

_Krystal's Voice says: _find the Yellow Brick Road first

_Hermione says: _oh. My. GOD. –thinks she gets it-

_Draco says: _what? –is curious- what's the Yellow Brick Road?

_Hermione says: _you so don't need to know

_Draco says: _it's our only way out, Princess

_Hermione says: _I'll kill you for calling me that

_Lynn's Voice says: _so will I, but I wanna hear what our Princess thought up

_Krystal's Voice says: _ me too

_Hermione says: _-mutters the answer just barely loud enough to hear-

_Draco says: _sorry. Didn't catch that

_Hermione says: _-says it a tiny bit louder so he can hear

_Lynn's Voice says: _oh my god… even I didn't think of THAT!

_Krystal's Voice says_: NO. JUST… NO! Where the hell did you GET that?

_Hermione says: _I don't know!!! -is hysterical-

_Draco says: _-looks down at it- and just how are we supposed to 'follow' it?

_Hermione says: _er … not gonna.

_Draco says: _I've already established after her little 'episode' I'm not shaggin the mudblood! Besides … I'm pretty sure there's no 'white rabbit' at the end.

_Lynn's Voice says: _YOU ARE NOT shagging Hermione. I forbid it

_Krystal's Voice says: _As do I.

_Hermione says: _like I'd want to. I'd DIE before doing that

_Draco says: _then kindly kiss off and DROP DEAD

_Krystal's Voice says: _oi, you two! Seeing as how neither Lynn, nor I thought of that… it's clear THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING ANSWER

_Hermione says: _then what bloody IS?

_Krystal's Voice says: _-sigh- did you even NOTICE the bookcase?

_Draco says: _bookcase?

_Hermione says: _-looks up-

_Draco says: _there was a bookcase the whole bloody time? And there's one here called "The Yellow Brick Road." How convenient.

_Hermione says: _how ironic. –picks it up and starts to read-

_Draco says: _what's it about?

_Hermione says: _-colour drains from face- sex…

_Draco says: _sex?

_Hermione says: _-weakly- Slytherin Sex Tips

_Draco says: _ I SAID I'M NOT SHAGGING THE MUDBLOOD!!! Is this some kind of JOKE? 'Cause it is SO NOT FUNNY

_Krystal's Voice says: _er… no? That's not what it's supposed to be … Lynn why is that there?

_Lynn's Voice says: _whatever. Just read it.

_Draco says: _it says: "Tips For Giving Head"

_Hermione says: _oh my god. –starts to read it, looking sicker by the second-

_Krystal's Voice says: _that's not the plan, Lynn

_Lynn's Voice says: _whatever. It seems to be now.

_Hermione says: _"Girls, swallow, for fuck's sake"

_Krystal's Voice says: _Oh well. It DOES say to follow it …

_Draco says: _Who the hell WROTE this?

_Lynn's Voice says: _That'd be me and Pansy.

_Draco says: _that explains so much. But.. you mean the mudblood has to give ME head? -shrugs- at least I'm not TECHNICALLY shagging her…

_Hermione says: _-continues to read and mutters something about lips and friction-

_Draco says: _moves over to couch and takes off boxers- now what are the rest of these tips?

_Hermione says: _-flips a few pages- "begin with licking the head and then circle your tongue on the way down until the male is fully aroused"

_Draco says: _sounds good, keep going

_Hermione says: _-throws him a disgusted look while noticing his size and continues to read- I think I'm supposed to kind of …

_Draco says: _ready when you are, Mudpie. Although, I must warn you. Could take a while to get me off

_Hermione says: _ -disgusted, but willing to leave the room, crawls over to him with the book-

_Draco says: _ you know, this book sounds more like "Head for Dummies"

_Hermione says: _do you want me to hit your –coughs- with it?

_Krystal's Voice says: _sorry Hermione, I'm afraid that would count against you

_Lynn's Voice says: _but more points for me, so carry on with your instincts.

_Draco says: _I said I like 'em feisty

_Hermione says: _whatever. If you make another remark, I'll bite

_Draco says: _… carry on

_Hermione says: _-she licks, goes up and down, changes speed and grip occasionally but in rhythm until he gets off-

_Draco says: _oh wow. That was … GOOD. I'm surprised. Didn't think the princess had it in her. Or rather … ON ME

_Hermione says: _-wiping mouth/face and occasionally spitting- wasn't me. It was Pansy's writing. –makes a face and grabs clothes- okay can I get out of here NOW?

_Krystal's Voice says: _FINISH THE BOOK

_Hermione says: _-goes pale- oh fuck.

_Draco says: _just open the god damned end of the book!

_Hermione says: _yes Dad. –rolls eyes and opens book-

-cute white bunny with matching purple silk top hat emerges-

_Draco says: _what the hell? Does it have the KEY or something?

_Lynn's Voice says: _okay I wasn't expecting that. Krystal?

_Krystal's Voice says: _well, I DID mention the white rabbit!

_Lynn's Voice says: _yeah, okay. But in my SEX BOOK? -quietly- ooh. Playboy bunny

_Krystal's Voice says: _it WASN'T the sex book before! And just by the by, there's no key to that door

_Hermione says: _then what's with the rabbit?

_Lynn's Voice says: _BUNNY

_Draco says: _whatever. So can we leave? I thought the bunny was supposed to let us out

_Krystal's Voice says: _no such luck. The bunny's only there to laugh at you 'til we decide to let you out

_Hermione says: _that's dumb

_Krystal's Voice says: _yeah, but it's funny to watch

_Draco says: _-leans against the wall on the door and it swings open-

_Krystal's Voice says: _uh… Lynn?

_Draco says: _did that work the whole bloody time?

_Lynn's Voice says: _yeah?

_Krystal's Voice says: _I think you forgot to lock the door


End file.
